- Feb 2004- I met my husband working on my Bachelors. We totally didn't like each other, but I guess all that arguing made us closer
- Nov2005- Ironically we got serious and he enlisted in the Air Force.
- 2006- Graduated with BA in Psych and then went to Graduate School for Counseling
- Dec 2007- I have a Fiance!! I can finally see the end to the long distant relationship
- August 2008- Graduated with my MA in Counseling; got an awesome job and started planning a wedding
- June 2009- Got married and moved to Utah
- Dec 2009- We decided to get off BCP and let whatever happens happen
- July 2009- Something weird is going on with my cycles. We tried everything to get them regular. Doctor told me to get back on BCP to see if that will regulate. Didn't work, referral to RE
- Dec 2010- Diagnosed with PCOS, started taking Metformin. LOST 15 lbs
- Feb 2011- Hubby separated and we moved to Colorado. Decided to really get serious about TTC.
- April 2011- Told by new Dr. that we will have to do Clomid to conceive due to my irregular cycles.
As I look over the timeline, it doesn't seem as bad as others I have seen or heard about. I feel as though I just need to suck it up and wait out whatever is out there. I am upset, that I even have to have a timeline. All of my friends and family are having babies with the ease, WHY NOT ME!! I feel like due to me not working I have so much time to have unnecessary emotions. I might just need to make friends in Colorado, so that my only communicative buddy is not the keyboard. Is it too much to ask for the Cinderella story. My entire family says that I am dramatic; am I being dramatic world? I hate the fact that someone told be to see a infertiltiy doctor; it echos failure and disappointmetn in my entire body. Clearly, I have a lot of time on my hands this is my second post, lol. I SHALL GIVE IT A REST.
What you're feeling, IMO, is normal. You're grieving your ability to have children without medical intervention. I was SO angry and upset about having to see an RE. But eventually, acceptance comes and you can move forward. It may take a month...it may take longer. Just my opinion. ((HUGS))
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ReplyDeleteI just wanted to put in my 2 cents worth of advice. Your feelings are so normal- infertility issues shake you to the very core. I too have faith in God- but honestly it was really hard to not question God and His plan. Overall this experience has made my walk with God stronger and my marraige stronger- but it did not always feel like that-. At times the pain was so great that I shut God out-.
This whole thing is a process and its hard- and unless you have actually gone through it- I think that it is just really hard to understand. (hence you SIL's comments)
I definetly struggled with it more than my husband- and I really had to communicate with him the amount of pain and heartache that it caused me.
Blogging helped me - something about reading other peoples journeys and experiences was comforting- knowing that I was not alone. I was surrounded by very fertile people in 'real' life- so it was great to get online and see others that were going through what I was going through-.
Good luck to you- hang in there!
Thanks for inviting me to read your blog. Not being able to get pregnant naturally is a hard pill to swallow. The hardest part for me was just the issue of not knowing WHEN our day would finally come. My mantra was "every day is one day closer." I may not have known how far we'd have to go in treatments or how long it was going to take, but I took some comfort in knowing that every day that passed was one day closer to getting there.
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