Wow, It has been a while

Let's see I think I have been MIA for awhile, about a year ago. I will try to update you on everything that has been going on. I talked to my sister today, and she stated that she had a blog. I got to thinking, so do I. I went back to read my blog and realized that I was one angry person. It almost brought me to tears. I feel I have came a long way from just one year ago. The year hasn't been great but I will try to update you on what has happened. I promised my sister that I will keep my blog updated and follow her, so here is what has been going on

June 2011- I had my 2 year anniversary. Super excited and I also received my LPC (licensed professional counselor)

July 2011- I got a job working at the local, hospital. Loved the people and what I did. I was doing crisis assessments. If you know me, you know that I really enjoy doing this

August 2011- I realized that I had been on my cycle for about 3 months, so I cried all day and night until my first meeting with a fertility specialist

September through October 2011- I began blood work and test for everything under the son. I have to tell you I was a little offended that I had to get tested for some the stuff, which I knew I didn't have. But they say you will do anything for a baby, right? Quit the hospital, because I got a better job doing outpatient services, money was better, and I love working for someone that closes on weekends and holidays

November through January 2012- I started to take Chlomid, learn oh so much about follicle/ egg growth and when is the perfect day and time to have a baby. But no baby. My doctor told us we should move on to different meds and start IUI. Anyone who doesn't know what that is, it is when they inject the sperm into your tubes, so they don't have that far to travel to my wonderful eggs waiting.  In -laws came to town for Thanksgiving, which I loved.

February 2012- Scared, nervous, but willing to do anything for this family. Guess what? It worked. I can say they thought I was pregnant for  almost a week, but we quickly figured out it was a miscarriage. How devastating it was to get that call, that I am no longer pregnant. After all the bad news we had to hear for about a year.

March through April 2012- I was angry again. Why isn't things working out for me, so I buried myself into work. I began to focus on doing things other than spending money on the hopes that I will have a baby. In April I raised money and did a mile run in Atlanta for Resolve (research for infertility) I got to visit family and just spend time with the hubby. I realized that he was hurting just as much maybe more but that he will always be my rock

May 2012- The best nephew in the world graduated and was leaving for basic training. We decided that if we can't have our baby, I will spoil the one thing that feels like a baby is my nephew. He wanted an Iphone 4s, and no one wanted me to get it. But of course, the best aunt in the world did. My hubby is amazing, because he knew the pain and disappointment I was in. So he allowed me to spend all our money on him for this phone and making sure he has everything he needs for basic.

June 2012- Here we are. Anniversary #3 is coming around the cornor. We write vows to each other and I am almost not looking forward to what this year will be. I vows are suppose to be a reflection of the previous year and what we are to do different the next year.  Today I read my blogs and I saw so much anger and disappointment. I get teary eyed, just thinking about that time. I am writing know a little stronger than that girl last year. I have owned this infertility thing, I have a job that I love, I actually have a few friends, and I am a little more comfortable in my skin.  My husband asked me the other day, so when do you think we are going to try again. I quickly said, I don't know and not ready. I went to lunch with my friend later that week and secretly came up with a date and plan. I am not ready to say it out loud, so I will just hold on to it for now. Who knows maybe I will write it in my blog or vows.

Well that is my year summed up. I promise to be more focused and update. If not for my own sanity, maybe so me and my sister can finally get into each other's head. GOD knows that we need to. So, I will try to update each week or at least each other week, but no promises and we will see. Hope everyone is doing good.